Monday, January 23, 2006

Reign of Fire

Despite the apparent source of bright light, I couldn't make out what sort of abomination was being depicted by LMB in this ad. With the aid of brightening technology such as the GIMP and a good pair of magnifying glasses, I was able to deduce that the picture didn't show two snails humping, but was in fact a dragon sitting atop a volcano.

Common legend suggests that dragons sit on gold and riches, but LMB has debunked this by showing dimly lit evidence of them warming their bellies over hot lava. There is a far-off look on the dragon, as if it is pondering the ramifications of what would happen when the volcano erupts in a shower of red-hot pdrcentages, 4%, 5%, maybe even a 6%.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Retro Cocktail Hour

There used to be simpler times at LMB; times when otherwise normal creatures became abnormally distended, as though they had been genetically spliced with an anaconda and learned to swallow rectangular prey whole. This ad is a throwback to those simpler times.

Even esoteric animals like anteaters were not exempt from LMB's experiments. The anteater, mistaking an ant farm for the real thing, must have swallowed it whole. The ravenous insect-licker is not sated; it looks for more of those delicious formic fiestas at a nearby anthill, conveniently titled 'Bad Credit OK'.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Birdie Vs. One-in-hole

Maybe it's just my mind refusing to crawl up from the gutter, but tell me those worms don't look like erect wee-wees. Adding more color to the scene, a bird walks across the field of franks and systematically nips at each one. The peckers become the peckees and a vicious cycle of cock-gobbling is created.