Serenity and Fish Breath

You take a stroll in the strange land of LMB ads. Surreal creatures and creations assail you from everywhere. Your senses are overwhelmed by the colors, shapes and the motions of these perversions. You yearn for some respite, mundaneness, normalcy.

Suddenly, you come across a zen pond. Amidst the sound and the fury, this is a haven of peace and tranquility. Koi fish swim in water that gently laps against smooth, round stones. You take a deep breath, and kneel to take a closer look at the fish. The Koi looks up at you and gives you a knowing grin -- the omniscience of LMB's tongue-in-cheekiness is again laid bare.

Don't Tread On ME (or any other state)

Everything spells danger in this menacing entry into LMB's ad roster.

As the red eyes and fangs seems to indicate, this specimen is probably one of those rare vampire-snake hybrids, the ones that seem to be able to transform from a vampire to a bat and then immediately to a snake, causing confusion amongst paranormal zoologists everywhere. The rattles on the tail are modeled after the famous 'Towers of Hanoi' game, which seem to indicate that the origin of this lifeform could be the Orient.

The snake has swallowed 53 eggs, all of them providing just the mortgage rate you were looking for. The only way to get the right rate for your state is to extricate it through its maw with your bare hands.The ad says, 'Click your State', but do you really want to?